By Sharon Rivkin, M.A., M.F.T.
After the frenzied Christmas season ends, the cold of January sets in, and there’s not much to look forward to. And if that wasn’t bad enough, the holiday bills are coming due, visiting family members are on their way home, and Christmas will be put away for another year. All of a sudden, another year has ended, and where are you?
As 2009 enters, instead of letting the New Year’s blues set in, keep the holiday spirit alive by continuing to do the things that warmed up your spirit and relationships during the Christmas season. It’s easy to remember how much you love your partner when there’s a holiday or a special occasion. The real work of a relationship comes during the off times, those times when an exciting time of the year has ended, and the hassles of daily routines and busy schedules become the norm. When those off times hit, try out these five tips for keeping your relationship warm without spending a lot of money!
1. Share your New Year’s thoughts, wishes, and intentions with your partner. What do you each want to accomplish this year, both separately and together? Write these wishes down, visualize them happening, and set the year up for success at the very beginning by picturing your goals and wishes coming true.
2. Plan a night together watching a movie at home or listening to your favorite music. Make some popcorn, build a fire, cook a nice and simple dinner, and just talk to each other.
3. Go for a drive, even if it’s cold outside. If you love the beach, don’t let the cold weather stop you. If you love the forest, don’t let the rain get in your way. Or go for a walk and keep each other warm by holding hands. If you just can’t bear the winter chill, stay in the car and savor the time together by looking at the beautiful scenery.
4. Begin a new project around the house that you’ve been putting off. If you can’t afford to do it all, work on it a little each week. Just get it started, and gradually do more as your money allows. The more immediate you execute your plans, the better. Build the momentum so that the New Year starts off with action instead of inaction.
5. Help each other stay positive in these hard times. It’s so easy to get caught up in fear because of bad economic times or reading and listening to the news. When things are tough externally, it’s really an opportunity to go inward and build your strength. More than ever is the importance of creating a strong support system with your family and friends to help each other through these times. There’s always a silver lining in the clouds. What is it for you? What is it for you and your partner or family?
It may be cold outside, but now’s the time to do what you can to warm up your life and relationships. All it takes is thought, creativity, and a little imagination!
